my journal entries from each of my paintings from my latest collection. I hope it shows you that you are not alone in the hardships of life.
| The Russian with the Pearl Earring |
My beautiful story would take a book, but I only have a page.
How can I share art without sharing what God has done with my life. All glory be to Jesus, who saved me, and brings me overwhelming peace.
I was a little girl in Russia, with no mama and papa, and God brought me love from Michigan.
Grace is the thread that has woven everything together. My journey from Russia, across the ocean, to Michigan. It is through His guidance that my art has found its way here, and it’s His strength that has enabled me to create.
I believe that He has designed me for this purpose.
Everything I create is a reflection of what resides in my heart and mind, a glimpse of myself through brushstrokes. I am grateful and humbled, by the acknowledgement and appreciation of my work. Thank you for making me feel seen.
| desire |
To be seen and known.
Isn’t this, what the human soul craves?
‘Desire’ comes from this very feeling. When you feel desired you feel safe, respected, and wanted.
But then it can turn against you, and this is when it becomes a heart breaking concept.
Our wants, our needs. all come crashing through this thing in our chest: the human heart.
A song from Mumford and Sons goes “where you invest your love, you invest your life”
What is it that you love? What is it that you desire?
My desire would be that you know my heart. You feel my love. You feel valued, You feel heard.
As you walk through each painting, it shows glimpses of the past 2 years of my life. Feelings of hurt, betrayal, finding closure, and ultimately ending in joy, so I can bring this to you. Life is hard, but it is beautiful.
| native |
It takes a strong mind to close a feeling of what we so desire.
It takes a humble heart to put down something that was clearly not meant for you.
Sometimes in life, we have to trust, that God’s plan is best. and that He is a good Father who loves you.
Be faithful to your season.
Be faithful to your character.
One day, you will wake up.
and that day you will have taken your first step into the brightest future you could have planned.
| echoes of endurance |
Open your eyes.
Breathe.
And after the battle is fought, and silence fills the mind.
It echoes, your endurance. You made it through.
The battle might be over,
It leaves you feeling weak, when you were made stronger.
It leaves you feeling dumb, when you were made wiser.
It leaves you feeling terrified when you were made braver.
I am proud of you.
I am proud of what you’ve overcome.
So close your eyes, and breathe.
| golden |
You know the feeling of being seen and valued by a person, or by someone’s thought of you?
Without knowing it, I was doing this, I was limiting the worth of my art.
I put art aside for a couple months, my heart was broken, because people are fickle, their thoughts come and go.
Thankfully I had great people in my life telling me, “create. create sad art, create happy art, but just keep creating. With the beautiful souls around me, I started again, the joy art brought was fulfilling, again and better. I was learning to understand myself, my emotions, putting all my love, towards the soul that was broken but healing.
You are enough. Your personality, your smile, your love for other people.
You will be seen as GOLDEN around the people who LOVE you, VALUE you. Sometimes this will come as hard truth. Other times, it will be overwhelming comfort.
You have the gift that the human soul needs, love. Share it. Know it. Embrace it as Golden.
| untamed dreams |
Do you ever fear the future?
I have 100% doubted that I was being selfish with my art. I wanted this so much, but was this really my calling? Was I honoring Jesus?
First and foremost, seek your faith.
There you will find ultimate fulfillment.
then,
your dreams will follow.
If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough. So here is to my dreams, wild and untamed.
| american spirit |
Be disciplined:
it develop your character.
Be kind:
that develops your love.
Forgive yourself and remember that life is beautiful.
Jesus loves you. You can overcome with Him.
| sitting bull |
The last great Native American, lowers his weapons, in defeat.
His life’s story could have ended there. but he chose to share it at the great American Rodeos.
You see, his history rides on, because of the courage of sharing his history.
I’ll be the first to admit, it is not ideal to be vaunerable .
Without knowing it, you could be impacting the next 100 years.
Someone's life may change.
So...
Share what you love.
Share what you fear.
Share what you dream.
Share your hope.
| funky cowgirl |
Chelsea asked me to write my life story from a third person.
So here is my story through the eyes of a neighbor:
It was August 2000 when I first saw little Anya walk outside of her new home. She was small, quiet and happy. She enjoyed outside and she loved her family. A year later another girl joined her. Her own sister from what I’ve been told. I watched them grow up a normal life. Playing outside, have friends over. being surrounded by family. Enjoying the pool and getting spontaneous pets every summer.
After high school, Anya’s passport was filling up, her adventures in Ireland, Italy, Scotland, Hungary, Ukraine, the American wild West. She learned culture and people, and how to love strangers and life.
One day I noticed Anya’s truck was gone every night, I heard she fell in love with a boy. For years, she was off adventuring with her best friend, until one day she came home, and stayed home. I heard it was a hard heartbreak.
Big changes means new adventures. Anya moved out last year, no longer my neighbor but I hear she is a big time artist. She learned healing, growth, forgiveness,
I hope she knows that life is hard and she is doing amazing. I hope she knows that her story is not over but just has begun And that her life has shaped her for a purpose and she is destined for amazing this.
I watched her grow. And I am proud of her.
| till death do us part |
I catch the flicker in his eyes as he talked about his love for her.
His love ending in loss.
Excitement, joy, hurt and anger, all flash across his face as he tells me the memories of falling in love.
It bears the question, was it better for him to have loved and loss, than never loved at all?
How can we escape loss in regards to love.
Maybe you cannot have one without the other...
I suppose,
The only way you can escape doubting if it was ever true love... is if you loved
till death did you part.
Thank you for making it this far.
These were pages from my jornal, my life's emotions, I hope this help you put disappointment, and hurt in a new perspective. Some days are still hard, like for any person, just know that the sun will rise again, and joy comes in the morning.
XO - Anya Marie
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